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Hello Cool-Girls ! Since the Law of Attraction became so popular after the Covid crisis, I’ve seen a lot of ideas spreading online some a bit far-fetched. One of the most common is the notion that we attract exactly what we are. Not only is this misleading, but it can also make people feel guilty for the challenges they face in life. The truth is, while we don’t magically attract people because of who we are, there are often recurring patterns in the kinds of experiences we attract and understanding these patterns is the first step to breaking them and creating the life we truly want. In this article, I’ll share how understanding your fears may help you notice patterns in your experiences and share simple morning affirmations you can repeat every day to shift your energy and break the cycle.

1. Morning Affirmations for : the Scarcity Fear

A. Your Fear VS What You Attract

When you have a visceral fear of scarcity, your actions tend to focus only on fixing that feeling of lack, even if your finances or reality don’t justify it.

For example, let’s say you’re looking for a job:

• Your fear is so overwhelming that your goal becomes: “Find a job as fast as possible !”
• Because of this urgency, you’re less strategic and selective , you just want any offer now.

But here’s the catch:

• The healthiest companies don’t share your panic
  • They’re not desperate to hire
  • They don’t have massive turnover
  • They take their time to find the best candidate
• This means you might miss the best opportunities, the ones that are truly right for you

Meanwhile, the companies that match your urgent energy are often:

• The ones with high turnover (toxic companies)
• The ones that need someone fast
• They might call you for an interview the same day you applied… and ask you to start tomorrow

Moral of the story: When you’re too focused on your fear, you risk attracting something even worse.

B. Morning Affirmations to Use

• There are enough opportunities for everyone.
• A job interview is also to see if the company is a good fit for me.
• My patience will bring me the job that suits me at the right time.
• I am open to abundance when the time is right.
• Rejection is redirection.
• The right company for me is out there.
• This moment of calm is the time needed for my dream position to become available.

2. Morning Affirmations for : the Abandonment Fear

A. Your Fear VS What You Attract

The fear of abandonment is super common. It’s a bit like the fear of scarcity, but in relationships.

It often comes from childhood our first bonds with caregivers, where our attachment style begins to form. And guess what ? It follows us into adulthood.

Here’s how it usually plays out:

• Because you fear being left, you’ll do anything to avoid it.
• You’re naturally drawn to partners who seem super reassuring and over-invested (more than the norm).
• You think: “Finally ! Someone who makes me feel safe !”
• They go all in:
  • Call you their soulmate after 2 weeks
  • Make huge promises
• You let your guard down… and then → suddenly they become distant or disappear.

And that’s when the spiral starts:

• You panic
• You send a lot of messages trying to understand what you did wrong
• You make extra efforts to “prove” your value
• But deep down, it’s already the beginning of the end.

Why ? Because that 200% effort at the start wasn’t “secure love”. It was love-bombing, intense but not sustainable.

It’s not that you “attract” love-bombers…

It’s that their intensity feels reassuring to you. Meanwhile, someone with a secure attachment would probably think:
“Wait… declaring love after 2 weeks ? Creepy”

The Real Secret

If you have a fear of abandonment, this kind of quick attachment is exactly what you need to avoid.

Because real love can takes time:

• To get to know each other
• To see if your values align
• To appreciate both qualities and flaws

Don’t chase the butterflies in your stomach (that’s usually anxiety ).
Instead, choose the person who makes you feel calm, safe and at peace.

That’s the kind of gradual attachment you’re really looking for.

B. Morning Affirmations to Use

• I am already whole and complete within myself.
• I trust my intuition to guide me towards my ideal partner.
• I am right on time, moving at my perfect pace.
• The right partner for me will appear in divine timing.
• Secure, loving partners are abundant and I naturally attract them.
• My patience creates space for the right love to grow.
• I choose steady, growing love everyday.
• I am deeply attracted to consistent, secure partners.

3. Morning Affirmations for : the Intimacy Fear/ Losing Freedom Fear

A. Your Fear VS What You Attract

We often associate the fear of intimacy with avoidant attachment… but it also shows up in anxious and disorganized styles too !
It’s tied to fears like:

• Feeling trapped
• Losing freedom
• Becoming too dependent
• Being vulnerable

The Avoidant Paradox

Here’s the twist: even avoidant people who fear intimacy still crave closeness.
Why ? Because we’re all human → connection is part of survival.

That’s why, at the start of dating, avoidants often:

• Come in super strong
• Want closeness fast → before fear has time to kick in
• Sometimes even love-bomb their partner without realizing it

Why This Attracts Anxious Partners

• Anxious partners need to feel secure quickly
• Love-bombing feels like certainty to them → “Finally, proof I’m loved”
• Meanwhile, a secure partner would think: “Wait… falling in love after 2 weeks ? Red flag “

The Cycle (a self-fulfilling prophecy)

But here’s the problem:

• Love-bombing isn’t sustainable
• After a while, the avoidant feels burned out or trapped
• The anxious partner senses the distance and reacts by:
  • Asking for explanations
  • Pushing for reassurance
• The avoidant feels even more cornered → pulls away further

And boom: the very fear of intimacy ends up creating the outcome you dreaded.

B. Morning Affirmations to Use

• I am free to leave a relationship at any time.
• I am whole and complete on my own.
• I was happy before this relationship, I will be happy after
• Me and my partner are a team, we support and uplift each other.
• It is safe to ask for help and to confide in my partner.
• I can be independent and receive support both make me stronger.
• Asking for help is a sign of courage, not weakness.
• The real me is worthy of love exactly as I am.
• Showing emotions is human, it makes me authentic, not weak.

4. Morning Affirmations for : the Failure Fear

A. Your Fear VS What You Attract

When you’re afraid of failing, you try to reduce risk at all costs:

• ❌ You don’t apply to your dream university (fear of rejection).
• ❌ You settle for a job you’re overqualified for (comfort zone).
• ❌ You drop your dream project (too risky).

The Problem ?

• You don’t use your full potential.
• You feed and reinforce your fear of failure.
• In environments that don’t challenge you :
  • You get bored.
  • You feel discouraged.
  • You fantasize about the life you could have had if you dared.

Result: your self-confidence takes a hit. You feel like a loser without even taking the risk of failing… a true double punishment.

How to Break the Cycle : Exposure Therapy

• Think of courage and risk-taking as muscles:
  • The less you train them → the weaker they get.
  • The more you train them → the easier they become.
• Start with small risks:
  • Speak up in a meeting.
  • Post that idea online.
  • Try a hobby you’re not “good” at.
• Each small win = proof for your brain that failure isn’t fatal and confidence grows.

Over time, fear of failure shrinks and your muscle of courage becomes strong enough to take on bigger dreams.

B. Affirmations

• Failure is part of growth.
• The more I try, the more confident I become.
• Everyone who succeeds has failed along the way.
• Every failure is a chance to learn something new.
• Failure is safe, nothing bad will happen.
• I always find a way to rise and start again.
• Failure is human, I am not a robot.
• Did I fail or did I learn ? Either way, I grew.