Hello Cool Girls ! The feeling you experience is legitimate but unwarranted. I will give you 7 reasons why is it unhelpful to compare yourself to others on social media. With the rise of social media, it almost seems like everyone has a perfect life. The dream house, the perfect family with little blonde heads, the Porsche, and vacations in the Seychelles. In 2023, it seems like everyone is a millionaire.
As an individual trying to carve out a place in society and find their passion, all of this can quickly become overwhelming. With Instagram, one feels like they’re lagging behind, that others’ lives are more interesting, and the comparison game begins. This is where the vicious cycle can start, eroding self-confidence, especially during challenging times. When I was younger, I fell into the trap of comparing myself to others, but life taught me that all of this is an illusion.
1. Why is it unhelpful to compare yourself to others on social media? You don’t want the same thing in life
Societal standards are deeply ingrained. Getting married, becoming a mother or father, taking out a mortgage for a house. We’ve been led to believe since childhood that these should be the life goals for any well-adjusted individual. Not that I’m saying it’s not a commendable path, but when you harbor different aspirations. But when you desire to veer off the beaten path and tread a less-traveled road (childfree, single women, creating your own company, or traveling the world), it’s normal for the journey to be challenging. There might be moments of envy for those on the well-trodden paths.
It’s crucial to remember that you don’t want the same things, and perseverance is key because the outcome will be rewarding. Who knows, perhaps others will be inspired and choose to follow the same unconventional path.
2. Why is it unhelpful to compare yourself to others on social media : You don’t have the same cards to play
It’s a reality we must accept: we haven’t all won the lottery of life. Being born in a poor country, having abusive parents, facing a disability, being neurodivergent, experiencing trauma, having an unconventional appearance, or simply being different.
It’s crucial to be realistic, but as soon as you don’t fit the mold, life becomes more challenging. It’s like choosing the difficult level in a game. And this starts as early as school, which rewards those with a conformist way of thinking and marginalizes a portion of children in society. This initial exclusion has consequences for the child’s destiny. It takes more time for them to find their path and build confidence.
Similarly, a child who has experienced trauma will also lag behind in life because one cannot fully realize oneself when healing is needed. So, to move forward, I have only one piece of advice: accept that the path will be different for you and that you are doing your best with what you have.
3. Why is it unhelpful to compare yourself to others on social media : People show you what they want
I’m probably not telling you anything new, but it’s important to emphasize that not only are social media not real life, but also, the people you encounter choose what they show you. And that’s just human nature; people want to present themselves in their best light. They’ll dress up, highlight their successes, and showcase their strengths. But you’ll never hear about their failures, moments of doubt, insecurity, or despair—at least not until they feel they have ‘nothing left to prove.
What I mean by this is that it’s only once we’ve reached the summit that we understand our misadventures weren’t random; they allowed us to grow and led us to where we are. People are afraid to be authentic because few dare to do so. And so, the reluctance to be authentic perpetuates the myth of an effortlessly smooth journey, concealing the trials and tribulations that shape personal growth behind a facade of success.
4. You have something people want
When you focus on others, you forget your uniqueness and the strengths that make you the person you are. People who meet you probably think they admire your kindness of soul or your sense of humor. Envy is a human emotion that should not be ignored; it reveals more about us than about others. It’s a call to refocus on oneself: What aspect of myself have I neglected? What do I want in life? Where do I want to go? When you invest your energy in becoming the best version of yourself, you won’t have time to worry about what others have.
5. You don’t have the same journey
We cannot compare people to each other; it simply doesn’t make sense. I firmly believe that each of us has a life mission. Our childhood, the encounters we have, and the dreams we hold – all these things are meant to teach us lessons for personal growth and evolution as living beings.
6. Everyone has their struggles
You have no idea what’s happening in people’s lives; no the world is not conspiring against you. Your colleague who jokes all the time may be going through depression, and your neighbor who seems to have it all may have just discovered they have cancer. Everyone has their share of misfortunes, unfortunately.
7. It will leads to perpetual dissatisfaction
Comparing yourself to others is bad because it lead to endless unhappiness rather than happiness. Constantly measuring your life, achievements, or possessions against others can foster feelings of inadequacy, jealousy, and discontent. True happiness often comes from within, focusing on personal growth, self-acceptance, and pursuing goals that align with your values, rather than trying to conform to external standards set by others. Embracing your uniqueness and appreciating your own journey can contribute to a more fulfilling and content life.
